Bounty jokes

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?

Hobo Fett!

When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.

Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?

Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?

He was not worth keeping.

What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?

His Boba Pet.

I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.

A depressing but satisfying victory.

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.