Sex jokes
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
Woah, nice cock.
Memes
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
I love necrophilia, but only if it's consensual!
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.