Sex jokes
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
Well, the "HOLE" story is, I shoved it up her hole.
Gwen pegs Xavier.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!
Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.
Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!
Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!
Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!
Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!
Jarod (🤨): Or not?
Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!
Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.