Sex jokes

I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.

What do my cock and money have in common?

Your mom.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.

In her religion, you NEVER pull out.

Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.

Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Uder the sheets.

Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.

Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.

SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.

Why do orphans love blowjobs?

Because they actually get kissed!

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.

OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

That's what happened to my dog.

She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.

I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.

Why do orphans love having sex?

Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."

Dick sucking.

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.

What does a lesbian call the other during sex?

Mummy.