Sex jokes
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
cock, cock, and cum
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
Woah, nice cock.
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
I love necrophilia, but only if it's consensual!
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.