Sex jokes

Why can't orphans have sex?

They have no one to call "daddy".

Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.

Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.

Woah, nice cock.

Incest.

When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.

I love necrophilia, but only if it's consensual!

What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.

What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?

An “Astronut”!

What is long and hard and full of seamen?

A submarine.

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.

I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.

What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?

The pussies are limited edition.

What do you call a spaceman’s willy?

A Shuttlecock!

Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.

What did the dick say to the condom?

Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.