Pinocchio

Pinocchio Jokes

Doctor

Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there, the doctor asks him, "Do you have cancer?" Pinocchio replies, "That was very straight up, but no, I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer." After saying this, his nose grew.

Cinderella

Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"

Self Harm

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

Lie

What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?

They both lie over little boys 😂

Trans Men

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

Lie

What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?

They believe their own lies.

Lie

How do you annoy Pinocchio?

Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"

Snow White

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?

She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

Lady

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

Wood

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

Barbie

Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"

Sex

What do girls after sex with Pinocchio?

Wash off the birch sap from the face.

Neighbor

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.