Sex jokes
"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Who sucked on my cock?
Answer: You.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."