Sex

Sex jokes

Cake

    • So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"

    The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."

    So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

    So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."

    And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

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    • Man

    • A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

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    • Sex memes

    Feminist

    • If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

    "Not now, I have a headache."

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    • Parent

    • If you have sex and your African parents find out,

    “You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

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    • Difference

    • What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.

    Dad

    • My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

    Popcorn

    • "Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

    "HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

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    • Cannibal

    • How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?

    You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.

    You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.

    He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.

    You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.

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