Sex jokes

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.

Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.

What’s blue and comes in brownies?

Cub Scouts.

What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

What is gayer than man sex ring?

Not slapping the ass at Hooters.

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?

I don't have a sex slave in my basement...

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

Comment anything if you liked the picture of Kenya in her bra!

Hint: It was a red bra with pink strips! And it said, "I love everyone!"

#she is sex*

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.