Sex jokes
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
Spread my legs like butter n finger me hard. 👅👅👅
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
Why do orphans have sex?
To call someone "daddy"!
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool? An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
Me so horny! Me so horny!
I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
Who likes eating ass?
My Little Pony.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
Fat girls give the best head because they are hungry and eat the most dick.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?
If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁