Sex jokes

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.

Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.

What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.

"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?

You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.

You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.

He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.

You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.

If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

"Not now, I have a headache."

What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?

Marriage.

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.

Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

What is gayer than man sex ring?

Not slapping the ass at Hooters.

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?

I don't have a sex slave in my basement...

Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.