Sex jokes
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
Why won't an atheist convert to the religion of Islam? Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be a Muslim according to the Arabic religion of Islam.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
I sucked a dick.
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck dick.
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
Closer kin, deeper in!
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."