Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise egg.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
I came here to laugh.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
