Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
What is a dry swimmer?
Not in the water...
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
I came here to laugh.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
