Sex jokes
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.
Penis.
What did The Rock say to his dad?
"I'm gonna Rock Bottom my cock down your throat!"
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards…
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
What does a dead baby look like?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
So, no head?
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!