Science jokes
Never trust an atom; they make up everything.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
Do people live on the Earth 🌏? Yes, a lot of people live on the Earth 🌎.
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
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What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth picks.
NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
Poop fell off the earth.
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
Short people tend to get angry easily...
'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...
Do not trust atoms! They make up everything.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To help Stephen Hawking cross!