Science jokes
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Yo forehead so big, NASA needed it for the new planet, stupid!
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.