Science jokes
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.
What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
Do people live on the Earth 🌏? Yes, a lot of people live on the Earth 🌎.
Memes
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything!
Do not trust atoms! They make up everything.
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth picks.
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.
Short people tend to get angry easily...
'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...