Science jokes
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
Who would you choose?
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Uranus floats around in space.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish? A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*