Science jokes
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth picks.
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
NASA = Not Africa North America. That's what NASA stands for.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
What did Stephen Hawking love that couldn't move?
Himself, ps particularly his whole body. I was gonna say his legs, but then I remembered he was fully paralysed and was like shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.
Why is Uranus like paper? Because you do see the other side.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?
Vegetables.
What is Stephen Hawking's mum?
Your mum!
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
I was reading a book about anti-gravity, I couldn't put it down!
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.