School jokes
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
Downey.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.