School jokes

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

*at school*

Nobody: Do you want nuts?

Me: Wait, you have some?

Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.

Me: :0

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?

Because it was High School.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright!

What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?

"Bye son!"

Get it? Bye son, Bison!

How did the shark do on his math test?

Jawesome!

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

So he could get into high school.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

Why don’t spiders go back to school?

Because they learn everything on the web.

Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.

Teacher: What kind of appointment?

Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈

True story.