School jokes

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

Roses are red, I reload fast...

I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!

One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.

The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?

Downey.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright!

How did the shark do on his math test?

Jawesome!

Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?

Dumb kid: The W???

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.

Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!

Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

A: Special forces.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!