School jokes

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.

Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."

Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?

Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."

Student: "But!"

Teacher: "Is something missing?"

Student: "Your parents!"

Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.

Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?

Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

A: Special forces.

Even if orphans fail their exams, I'm sure their parents wouldn't...

Oh wait...

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

1, 2, I have a gun.

3, 4, I am in a school.

5, 6, Everyone on the ground!

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!

Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

*at school*

Nobody: Do you want nuts?

Me: Wait, you have some?

Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.

Me: :0

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.

Teacher: Why are you late!

Girl: I need my beauty sleep.

Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.