School jokes
All aboard the Magic School Bus! We are going to New York. The second tower has been hit.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
It's often said that people peaked in high school.
I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.
Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.
Mom: Well, it’s my house.
Little Johnny: Then go clean it.
Mom: Go to school!
At school:
Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.
Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.
Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.