Say jokes

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

"Beat it. We’re closed."

What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

What did one tower say to the other?

Damn, you looking PLANE!

What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?

"Open wide, here comes the airplane!" 💀👌

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.

The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."

The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"

What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?

Two nuns in a bathtub.

One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"

The other nun says, "It sure does."

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"

Why do orphans like Darth Vader?

So he can say, "I'm your father!"

Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.

Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."

The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!