Say jokes

A father awaits the birth of his first child.

The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."

The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"

For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"

What did the hairline say to the hat?

"We go way back..."

Trump, must I say more?

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: The highway.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Student: I don't know, my mom says that's where all the accidents happen.

A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."

In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A curious tale, strange as the night, Of Alex Fisher, with love so bizarre, For random Hitler lemons, bizarre but bizarre.

Free Verse, they say, this poem shall be, Unrestrained, unrhymed, flowing and free, Yet how to capture this perplexing love, For lemons and Hitler, soaring above?

Alex Fisher, a soul with peculiar taste, Finds joy in lemons with a sour embrace, And Hitler, a name that evokes dark pain, Inexplicably entwined, like wind and rain.

Randomness, the thread that weaves this tale, No logic, no reason, no rhyme to prevail, For who could fathom this peculiar love, Of lemons and Hitler, below and above?

Yet in the realm of words, where all is allowed, We explore the uncharted, the strange and the proud, And though this poem may bewilder and confuse, Let it remind us, acceptance we must choose.

For love knows no boundaries, no norms to abide, It transcends our expectations, with no need to hide, So let us embrace the quirks that make us unique, For in the tapestry of life, we find what we seek.

So here's to Alex Fisher, with love all their own, May they find happiness, wherever they've flown, In lemons and Hitler, a world so absurd, May their love be a reminder, that love has no words.

What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?

"9 Juan Juan, who this?"

Why are orphans always famous?

Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.

If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.

"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."

What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"

A guy finds a genie.

He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."

"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"

What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...

We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.