Say jokes
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"
What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?
"Jit was lagging."
What do you say to a black midget?
Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?
They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.
What did the O say to the other O?
O hi O (Ohio).
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
What does a depressed person say when they're happy?
"..."
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We’re closed."