Say jokes
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.
Apple: What?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"
The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"