Say jokes

What did the bulldozer say to the house?

"I wanna bulldoze houses!"

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!

What did the orphan say to the bowling ball?

"I am orphan!"

"You are bowling ball!"

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"

Moo!

Cow: I was just about to say that!

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.

What does Sonic say when he's bored?

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?

"Dance to the beet, y'all!"

What did a skeleton say when he's alone?

"I'm so bonely..."

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"