Say jokes

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

How do you break up a fight between two gay men?

Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"

What did the rapper say to the computer?

“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”

Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?

He [is a] goy.

A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."

The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"

The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."

Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?

"Dirty bitch, you are."

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?

Nothing, she was hung over.

What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

What did the beat say to the rapper?

"Drop it like it's HOT!"