Say jokes

What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!

People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.

"Orange, orange, orange."

"Knock, knock."

"Orange."

"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor!"

What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?

"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?

"Hey BrO!"

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?

The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,

"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.

What did the hat say to the tie?

"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"

What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?

HO HO HO

This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”

The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”

You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. It just "waved!"

A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"