Say jokes

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?

The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,

"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.

What did the hat say to the tie?

"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"

What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?

HO HO HO

This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”

The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”

You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. It just "waved!"

A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?

"That is very Wong."

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."

The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"

The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"