Say jokes
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con... OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"