Say jokes
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
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A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”