Say jokes
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!