Say jokes
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.
I've seen them hanging all day.
What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: I'll fall with you.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.