Say jokes
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.
I've seen them hanging all day.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.