Say Jokes

What did the letter A say to the letter B?

"Z" you later.

What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?

"Our souls will rain forever."

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?

"I don't get it."

didn't fall for number 6 7 and 5

The image lists "10 THINGS I KNOW ABOUT YOU" with a list of funny observations, and a minion looking surprised. The list reads: "1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter "P" without separating your lips. 4) You just tried to do it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5. 8) You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9) You laugh at this because you are an idiot (but everyone else does it too, if that makes you feel any better). 10) You are going to repin this to see who else falls for it."

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"

Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"

Q: What did one atom say to the other?

A: I have my ion you.

These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"

What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?

"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."

What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

What did the cow say to your mom?

Hello.

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.

Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...

Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.

A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"

And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."

And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"

And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."