Say jokes
What did the police say on the TV during 9/11?
"Call 911!"
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: I'll fall with you.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.