Say jokes
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
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What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
Memes
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"