Said jokes
On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?
"Hey BrO!"
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.