Said jokes

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.

I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."

On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.

Whoever said that about me better pray!

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?

Bianca: It's Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?

Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."

Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.

The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"

What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?

"Hey BrO!"

Wanna hear a joke?

Yeah.

...

What's the joke?

I said it already!

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

A friend asked what an acorn is.

I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”