Said jokes

An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"

Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

Once I took a test on waving signal flags.

They said I passed with flying colors.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"