Said jokes

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Once I took a test on waving signal flags.

They said I passed with flying colors.

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."

I have no idea how he knew.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!

An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."

Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"

The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"