Said jokes
This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
I thought it said holo..
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
She said she was cheating. I put anti-freeze in her drink.
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."