Said jokes

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

Once I took a test on waving signal flags.

They said I passed with flying colors.

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."

An orphan walked up to a baseball field, but a security guard said he couldn't come in because it was a home game.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."

I have no idea how he knew.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

Wanna hear a joke?

Yeah.

...

What's the joke?

I said it already!

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.