Safety jokes
What is one good thing about child molesters?
They drive slow past schools.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.
Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because they have no parents to watch them!
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
Everyone, just as a warning, stay AWAY from Akeld!
Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why drink water and not bleach?
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Billy moved in with 69 pedophiles when he was 8. Many "tears" came across his cheeks.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.