When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning? A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other
He is looking for children if you don't know who edp445 is look him up
be careful around edp445
Why should you wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty”
That’s when Penaldo asked “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater
I'll Never Forget My Grandfathers Last Words "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille
My ex was orphan as a child I should have taken that as the first sign. If her parents didn't want her, why would I.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dads corpse holding a jug of milk.
if the UK is 6 hours ahead of us why didnt they just warn us about 9/11
My bumper sticker says:👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD
The fact that am high won't stop me from advising u😳😳 Don't plug ur phone while charging it is very dengeros 🤣🛌
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave? Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jacksdon will get you.
Today Me and My Best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge and i told him to back up, R.I.P to him.
