Heat jokes
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
What is the difference between me and a fire?
It's hot.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
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Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
Two sticks only make a fire.
Coffee has been the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
The sun is fire.
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!