Romance jokes
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
There are 206 bones in my body.
When I look at you, it becomes 207.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.