if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
What is worse to have - a dead baby or dead Santa Claus? Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved...and shot her.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic
Why was Santa happy
Bc he had 3 ho's
Why was Santa happy
Cos he has ho's
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
why is santa always a bich calling ppl names like hoe hoe hoe
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year
what’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer,and a poor kids parents getting ran over by military tractors?When grandma got ran over by a reindeer,the kids actually gave a shit.
Story’s like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh. he never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it! What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph! What is Santa's favourite breakfast? SnowFLAKES! What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
My Friend- Why does Santa look like that? My 15 Year Old Friend- He has secateurs cancer... Me- I heard its cause he comes once a year. *-Everyone Looks at me-*
