15+ Reindeer Jokes

if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?

Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.

Why was Santa happy?

Because he had 3 hoes.

The image shows a tumblr post discussing the moral of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The first comment states, "The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you're useful." The second comment says, "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer as capitalist propaganda: discuss." The third comment argues, "Rudolph was already exactly as useful as the other reindeer. The moral is deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable."

How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

Why was Santa happy?

'Cause he has hoes.

Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*

Why is Santa’s sack so big?

Because he only comes once a year

Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"

What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?

When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.

Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.

Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"

"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"

"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."

Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."

Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."

Santa: "Done!"

Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."

Santa: "Done!"

Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"

Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."

Man: "Okay. Let's do it."

So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.