Winter

Winter Jokes

Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

3

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves........ just kidding he hasn’t opened it yet

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "now were not even allowed to do that."

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store acorns for winter so now I am dead" haha it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree. The person: Only last thing left to hang! He grabs a noose.

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i hate when i lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. where do i lose my friends from Afghanistan? in an explosion

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I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper