Winter jokes
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?
In an explosion.
What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
Snow balls.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts,' which, on one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.