Romance jokes

I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!

So Kenny finally found his one true love.

But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.

Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.

She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.

The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,

"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."

What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?

My Chemical Romance.

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

I wrote a book called "Endless Love."

It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.

Why did Monika look at the recycling bin with tears in her eyes?

Because she realized she just couldn't delete her feelings for you...

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.

My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

My sex life.