Romance jokes
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"
Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"
Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.