Romance

Romance jokes

Dread

Roses are red,

romance is dead,

every day I suffer from existential dread.

Penis

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,

And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.

Aunt

Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.

Ice Cream

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

Memes

Help

Just something wholesome to help you recover from whatever you just saw.

The image is a six-panel cartoon depicting a couple sitting at a desk with a laptop. In the first panel, the woman is asking the man for help. The man then helps her. Then the woman asks him to come closer again. Finally, the man hugs her while she is using her laptop. The text bubbles say: "CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS?", "HERE... DONE!", "CAN YOU COME HERE AGAIN?" and "BUT THERE'S NOTHING WRONG."
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  • Item

    He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.

    Silence...

    And then at last she spoke...

    "Unexpected item in the bagging area."

    Fist

    Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

    Diarrhea

    A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".

    The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.

    Girl

    How did the blind girl get a date?

    She said it was love at first sight.

    Lotion

    You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

    Heart

    Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

    Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

    Boy: “Yeah, why?”

    Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

    Volcano

    Hey girl, are you a scientist?

    Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.

    Emo

    What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?

    My Chemical Romance.

    Emo

    What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?

    My Chemical Romance.

    Rose

    Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.

    Date

    So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

    Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

    Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

    Love

    "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

    People

    Why was the people's wedding so miserable...

    'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.