Religion jokes
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them?
I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
What do orphans go to church for?
So they can call someone "father."
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"