Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
For centuries the catholic church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
Chancel culture!
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
Do you know you’re supposed to wash your sex toys after you use them? I guess that’s why Catholics invented baptism
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them Are you 7-Eleven Or 9/11
The best way to tell Hindu person and a Muslim person part is asking them Are you 7-Eleven Or 9/11
Shia mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨
How is a priest like a wristwatch They both start at 12
A llahu Aks into a bar...
And it blows up!
a jew and jew walk in bar goy say what u want jew say give it alcohol jew say my son run away and become christian another jew pipe in he say my son too bar tender turn around he say “u not gonna believe this...”
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings didn’t Jesus have four
