Religion

Religion Jokes

Exorcism

What’s a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

Nun

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

Nun

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

Priest

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

Glory Hole

Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?

A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.

Nun

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.

Difference

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.

Nun

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

Nun

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.

Prey

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

Word

What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?

Palestinian masseur.

Woman

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

Jesus

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

Bar

A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”

Jesus

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Priest

A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"

Buddhist

What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?

"Make me one with everything."