Religion jokes
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?
"Daddy?"
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.
Are you a Muslim, because you're the bomb?
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
What is the difference between Benjah and Jesus?
Jesus walks on the water; Benjah wades through the water.
All the Muslims are pissed off because 24 hours after Chuck Norris went to heaven there were no more virgins left.
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."
He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."
Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."
Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
What is the definition of suspicion? A: A nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.