Religion jokes

Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.

At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"

Do you love God?

What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?

Palestinian masseur.

Friday's opening is open. Religion: "Dark model?" Hopi, Kahan, Virra, Sayla, Salafa, Sales, Power, Sleep. Google is “that cave”.

The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."

What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?

Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!

Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?

Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.

When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

The Virgin Mobile.

Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?

"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

Taig

When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"

Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.

Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."

Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

Therapist: That's not so bad.

Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.

Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell.

Bent and far back.