Religion jokes
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"
What's hot and hard?
Me when I look at children.
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
Memes
A reincarnated and heavily modified T-Rex is something that's been on my drawing board for years
Bust it open for Jesus!
Father, then the priest says, "Son, Holy Spirit, amen." No, I was asking you a question, Father.
Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...
I think Jesus is broken.
ISIS is the mark of the beast.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
Should I burn heaven?
Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.
So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
Even your mother can never fix your hairline, just God.
Why is a priest called "father?" It's too weird to call them "daddy."
Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.
Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!
God: Why is the teenager so short?
Angel: I don't know.
God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"
Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."
God: No, I didn't!