Religion jokes
Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!
PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(
Friday's opening is open. Religion: "Dark model?" Hopi, Kahan, Virra, Sayla, Salafa, Sales, Power, Sleep. Google is “that cave”.
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
Do you love God?
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
The Virgin Mobile.
When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"
The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."
Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno
Taig
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
What did the airplane say to the tower? Allahu Akbar!
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Why did God create women with pussies?
Because:
1. Of course, God is a man.
2. Of course, he isn't gay.
3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.