Religion jokes

Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.

Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!

The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."

How do you boil holy water?... You boil the hell out of it!

Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD

Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.

Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a Christian nationalist on steroids?

Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.

But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.

So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!

A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...

Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”

For his sake, I hope that heaven is wheelchair accessible...

What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?

I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!

Why did God give women legs?

1. To look at.

2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.

POV: Orphans rule the world.

God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.

The orphan: Waaaaaa!

God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?

So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.

"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.

What do orphans go to church for?

So they can call someone "father."

Why does Jesus hate Skittles?

Because they fall through his hands.

How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?

God fucked her.

At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"