Religion jokes
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
That’s why the nickname for your hairline is the Red Sea.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
so true lol
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Why does Jesus hate Skittles?
Because they fall through his hands.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
And the Lord said onto John, "Come forth to receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."