How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine đ
Did you hear about the woman who put her husbandâs ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for âŹ500.
The first replied: "For 500� Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200âŹ!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you canât find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
How do you tell whether youâve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
Husband: âHoney, whatâs the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?â
Wife: âok... what is it?â
Husband: âI donât have a Ferrari right now.â
Whatâs the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another womanâs lipstick on his knuckles.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why arenât you?
Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why arenât you?
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
