Relationship jokes
Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.