Relationship jokes
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Memes
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 10 fingers, the middle ones are for you.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
Why canβt orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Q: Whatβs worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family portrait.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
Iβm taken, taken my own life, bitch!