Relationship jokes
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!