Relationship jokes
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Memes
who wouldnt?
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.