Relationship jokes
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
What is Alabama’s family tree? A circle.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.