Relationship jokes
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.