Relationship jokes
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
Why do men give cold women their jackets?
No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
When an orphan takes a pic, is it known as a family picture? 📸
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What is Alabama’s family tree? A circle.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.