Relationship jokes
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
What is Alabama’s family tree? A circle.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.