Relationship jokes
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 9.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Me and your mom in the bed.
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
Your dad is your mom.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.