Relationship jokes
I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
who wouldnt?
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
"I will Always Love You!"
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.