Relationship jokes
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
"I will Always Love You!"