Relationship jokes
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
Memes
Literally me after every single relationship
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
"I will Always Love You!"
My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.