Relationship jokes
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
I had sex with my boss's daughter.
I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.