Relationship jokes
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
I dated a furry once.
The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
"I will Always Love You!"