Relationship jokes
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
Memes
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
"I will Always Love You!"
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.