Relationship jokes
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
I had a good time with friends!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...