Relationship jokes
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵