My girlfriend broke up with me today but it’s ok, She said we can still be cousins.
the only problem being short and gay is that when ever i try to tell people im top in my relationship they don't believe me because im shorter then the person im dating like wtf
All these oranges but you still orange the one for me
have you ever heard of Jane Doe? well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!!!
wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didnt sit with yanely and jasmine at lunch. funny joke huh
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror. We never met again
Roses are red the grass is greener every time I think of you I play with my weenier
Why did my dad leave me, Because i was a disapointment
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick to bad for her because I give good sex
First Date: HE:"i work with animals every day!" SHE:"oh how sweet! what is it that you do?" HE:"I'm a butcher" SHE:"were through!"
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest but they said no Bc they don’t alow perfectionist
Man and woman are having a discussion. Woman looks into man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . ".
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in".
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
Girl: hi(flirt) Boy: hi?(reluctant) Girl: im a cheerleader captain, im also single.(flirt) Boy 2: exuse me?! He's MY MAN...
did know that girlfriend at the end it starts with an end so does boyfriend and friend have end at the end of it but family at the end it ily i love you
Gwen we can chat in 2 mounths my aunt just died from covid and is talking forever for us too get there to californa I love you your boyfriend prince!
yeah she said do you love me, i said only partly i love my bed and my mommy im sorry.
Hey girl are you an orphan? Oh that’s right I’m your daddy.
I have a trans friend. He is in a polymers relationship and would be straight if they had a dick
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commanders) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you"
(Lexa and Clarke from 'The 100' [ #LexaDeservedBetter ] R.I.P. Lexa...)
I was at my boyfriends house and I thought he was cheating on me and he was on the phone with somebody he said he'd be over there soon. so i asked him if I could see his phone he said no and then we fought about until I seen his gun and because I thought he was lying to me I shot him,went through his phone and his friend was still on the phone.
