Relationship jokes
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a ‘P’ that girls love to get their hands on? 😏
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.
Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.
Your mom stinks.
That is my joke.
You mom doesn’t really stink.
I know I am stupid. 🤕
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
Fuck you and your shitty family!
You're so hot!
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.