Relationship jokes
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.
Not so great way to find out you are adopted.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
Some girls are like rocks.
You skip the flat ones.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.