Relationship jokes
What's the difference between anal and oral?
Oral makes your day whereas anal makes your whole weak.
When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...
I sucked a dick.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
You're more uglier.