Relationship jokes
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
Your mom.
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
Amber Heard Daily Routine:
Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.
The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."
"You should tell your parents," I replied back.
The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
The best quote by Kim Jong Un:
"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.
My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?