Relationship jokes
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"
"UwU my balls says mommy."
"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"
Memes
Shitpost-master general
Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."
When an African has a twin, your me??
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
I just want to say this...
You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again.
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
Joke: Tori’s boyfriend's life 😂😂
I just had sex.
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.
What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
Your mom is a mom!