Relationship jokes

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Credit to omnom.

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.

Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!

She really sucks, and the guy who is with her sucks too.

Chat date for Gwen and Tj.

Hi, I'm a girl gamer looking for a hot bf.

Gwen, are you mad at me? Cause that was a faker.

Like the faker Gwen?

Mom!

I had sex, but ended up going "uuyaahh!"

Mom! (DYM 14)

Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen