Relationship jokes
Oh, you're jealous now.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
What do you call a selfie taken by an orphan?
A family portrait.
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're adopted!"
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.