My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for youβhappy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
I like my coffee like my men, long and black.
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Reallyπππ?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: π₯ππ«ππππππ You did not have to be so honest.
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
Wade likes Luiz!
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
What's a gay person's favorite meal?
Meat with white sticky stuff.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
What do you call a school bus that you cannot drive?
A friend.
