Relationship jokes

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.

Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.

Your mom gay.

Stephanie has a great thumb!

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?

Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.

Why do asscheeks make great friends?

They always stick together!

There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.

When an African has a twin, your me??

The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣

"UwU my balls says mommy."

"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"

Mom, am I adopted?

What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.

So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.

I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"

Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?

'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.