Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Relationship Jokes
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
My dad left me.
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
"Send me back, I never liked you."
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
Mom
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
Your momma!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The third one's for you.
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
