Relationship jokes

What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?

If I adopt a child, is it mine?

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Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."

Love? Is impossible.

What is you main food?

Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.

Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.

Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.

Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.

Not so great way to find out you are adopted.

Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!

Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.

He said he didn't want to be my brother anymore.

He's now my sister.

I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

After all these walkers, you still walk over me.

Your momma!

"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The third one's for you.

What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

What do you call skeletons having sex?

When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.